A Frog in a Pot Will Boil

You may have heard the factoid about boiling a frog (please don’t try this at home)…

…if you drop a frog into boiling water it will immediately jump out of the pot.  But if you put a frog into a pot of water and slowly raise the temperature it will sit there until it’s cooked.

Why does this work?  The consistency of the water temperature slowly rising makes the frog adapt to its situation

The same is true with children. If we set consistent behavioral limits the child will adapt and maintain these rules.  It’s when parents waiver or give in that the rules of the household become blurred and the child begins to exhibit poor behavior – either out of frustration, anger, confusion or a little bit of all three.

Consistency is the Key

Consistency makes it easier for kids to learn how far they can go.  Testing boundaries is a natural part of maturing, but that doesn’t mean you have to give in.

The consistency ”tool’ is critical to any parenting plan.  Setting limits that are followed without drama and repeated battles is the glue that makes good behavior stick. Without consistency your “little frog” will quickly jump out of the proverbial pot and continue to ignore and disregard any further limits.  Once these learned-behaviors take hold they are very difficult to eradicate.

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By Josephine Finess

Spoiling a child does not happen overnight. It usually involves a series of perpetual actions and events that parents set in place that leads to bad behavior and an overly pampered child. Parenting websites and parenting guides will tell you that it is usually not so much the fault of the child. No child is born spoilt. However, it is usually within the parent’s control that determines what type of influence they want to expose their child to and also how clearly right and wrong is defined for the child.

Very often, busy parents who have to spend more time at work tend to give in to their children’s demands due to the guilt of not spending enough time with them. This is a major no-no in parenting law because even though the solution is short term, it starts off the relationship of your child (if she or she is still young) and this behavior leads onwards into their teenage life. What you end up with is a kid who is demanding and knows that he can get you to do things for him using emotional blackmail.

To many people, parenting discipline often results in punishment. However, parenting discipline is not just about the end result. If parents can devise a reward and punishment system consistently and that caters to the child’s level of understanding, the child slowly internalizes a moral compass to help guide him or her in decision-making.

Parenting discipline is a constant process and its goal is not to be a reward and punishment system. Ultimately, the goal of it is to train your child to know, all by themselves, what’s right and what’s wrong and to train him or her to automatically know that.

It is never too late to enforce parenting discipline. Parents need to sit down and decide what they want communicated to their kids. List down what actions and behaviors you want to encourage. The decisions you make today will very well play a huge part in determining what kind of a person your child grows up to become.

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By Dr. Larry J. Koenig

Does your child’s behavior ever embarrass you?

I know that may sound like a harsh question to ask, but believe me, as a fellow parent I’ve been there.

If you think you’ve “tried everything” to get your kids behavior to change, but things still aren’t working and you still feel like you just can’t get through to your kids, then stay with me for just a bit.

Because in a few seconds I’m going to tell you about a system that will change EVERYTHING for you – and change it fast. So fast, in fact, that many parents have been able to completely turn around their child’s behavior in two hours or less, and many times in under 60 seconds.

I know that may sound too good to be true, but I assure you, it isn’t.

But first let me tell you my story and how this whole thing came about (don’t worry, it’ll be quick)…

Back before my wife and I instituted a system of “Smart Discipline” in our home, things were chaos. Maybe you know that feeling, too.

Bickering, backtalk, belligerent behavior, bedtime battles, morning fights and insanity just trying to get everyone out the door.

I mean it was bad. Any of that sound familiar?

But here’s the really weird part…

You see, even though I was, and still am, a nationally respected leader in parenting circles (I’ve been called “America’s most-loved parenting expert”), had founded the most successful self-esteem workshop for kids ever (called Up with Youth), and was a family therapist who helped other families deal with issues like this every day, things just weren’t working in my own home.

So while I was out on “the lecture circuit,” my wife was back home with our kids going through sheer craziness each and every day.

Bottom line is I knew I had to fix it. And I did.

Now, I don’t have the space here to spell out the ENTIRE thing for you step by step, but what I do want to do is to share with you here some quick pieces of advice that helped my wife and I “cure” our kids of 37 specific behavior problems that were driving us nuts.

And then in a second I’ll let you know the full story.

Okay, so let’s get started…

1. The source of 90% of your child’s bad behavior is…

Lack of a true system of discipline. What does that mean? Well, the reason most kids misbehave, and then CONTINUE TO MISBEHAVE even after you’ve corrected or disciplined them, is because your rules aren’t clear enough, or because the consequences of breaking those rules isn’t clear enough TO THEM.

Now, I know you’re probably saying, “But, Larry, they know they’re not supposed to do X, Y, and Z but they STILL DO IT. Even after I’ve told them to stop.”

You may think you’ve spelled out the rules, but if your kids continue to repeat the same bad behaviors over and over and over again, then the rules and consequences aren’t clear to them – and that’s what’s important.

More on this in a second.

2. Whose fault is it when children disobey?

Guess what? It’s not their fault.


It’s not your fault either.

I know that sounds silly. I mean, it has to be someone’s fault, doesn’t it?

Actually no, and this goes back to the point I made above.

Discipline problems and bad behavior start when the discipline SYSTEM in your home breaks down.

So let me ask you this…

What IS the system of discipline in your home? Or…do you even have a system of discipline? I mean something that’s written down and spelled out in advance so EVERYONE knows what the rules are AND the consequences of breaking those rules?

If you’re having problems with your child’s behavior, my bet is you don’t.

The good news is that you can fix this in the blink of an eye. Again, more on this in a second.

3. Is it possible to discipline your child without destroying their self esteem?


But unfortunately, so many methods out there don’t do this. In fact, a lot of the advice you hear is going to do the exact opposite. And what you definitely DO NOT want is a system of discipline that chips away at your child’s self-esteem.

Why? Because then you’re just trading one problem for another.

You know what happens to kids who have low self-esteem, right? They grow up having even lower self-esteem, getting involved in drugs, doing poorly in school, and having heartbreakingly dysfunctional relationships even as adults.

So you don’t want a short term “fix” that’s going to cause even bigger problems for you down the road.

So let’s talk about the only solution that makes sense…

The system I developed out of necessity to use with my own kids, the very same system that solved 37 specific behavior problems that were driving my wife and I nuts, has proven so effective that it’s been featured on NPR, PBS and in People and Parent’s Magazine.

The first thing you need to do to get this working in your home NOW, and to finally solve your child’s behavior problems in 2 hours or less, is to go watch this short video and read the free special report I’ve put together for you. Click here now [http://www.smartdisciplinesystem.com/childbehaviorproblems/solvingchildbehaviorproblemsnow.html] to do that.

I’ve spent my entire professional career working with kids and families to develop this “Smart Discipline System” and now I want you to get the same incredible results that tens of thousands of other parents like you have gotten.

So, please, you owe it to yourself to go watch this video on child behavior problems [http://www.smartdisciplinesystem.com/childbehaviorproblems/solvingchildbehaviorproblemsnow.html], read the free special report, and get this fixed in your home now.

Thanks for reading, and let me know how you do!

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