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A Frog in a Pot Will Boil

You may have heard the factoid about boiling a frog (please don’t try this at home)…

…if you drop a frog into boiling water it will immediately jump out of the pot.  But if you put a frog into a pot of water and slowly raise the temperature it will sit there until it’s cooked.

Why does this work?  The consistency of the water temperature slowly rising makes the frog adapt to its situation

The same is true with children. If we set consistent behavioral limits the child will adapt and maintain these rules.  It’s when parents waiver or give in that the rules of the household become blurred and the child begins to exhibit poor behavior – either out of frustration, anger, confusion or a little bit of all three.

Consistency is the Key

Consistency makes it easier for kids to learn how far they can go.  Testing boundaries is a natural part of maturing, but that doesn’t mean you have to give in.

The consistency ”tool’ is critical to any parenting plan.  Setting limits that are followed without drama and repeated battles is the glue that makes good behavior stick. Without consistency your “little frog” will quickly jump out of the proverbial pot and continue to ignore and disregard any further limits.  Once these learned-behaviors take hold they are very difficult to eradicate.

A 2 minutes and 31 seconds video clip about What can cause behavioural issues in children.

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See Also Parenting Articles by Dr. Randy Cale at www.TerrificParenting.com

By Dr. Larry J. Koenig

Does your child’s behavior ever embarrass you?

I know that may sound like a harsh question to ask, but believe me, as a fellow parent I’ve been there.

If you think you’ve “tried everything” to get your kids behavior to change, but things still aren’t working and you still feel like you just can’t get through to your kids, then stay with me for just a bit.

Because in a few seconds I’m going to tell you about a system that will change EVERYTHING for you – and change it fast. So fast, in fact, that many parents have been able to completely turn around their child’s behavior in two hours or less, and many times in under 60 seconds.

I know that may sound too good to be true, but I assure you, it isn’t.

But first let me tell you my story and how this whole thing came about (don’t worry, it’ll be quick)…

Back before my wife and I instituted a system of “Smart Discipline” in our home, things were chaos. Maybe you know that feeling, too.

Bickering, backtalk, belligerent behavior, bedtime battles, morning fights and insanity just trying to get everyone out the door.

I mean it was bad. Any of that sound familiar?

But here’s the really weird part…

You see, even though I was, and still am, a nationally respected leader in parenting circles (I’ve been called “America’s most-loved parenting expert”), had founded the most successful self-esteem workshop for kids ever (called Up with Youth), and was a family therapist who helped other families deal with issues like this every day, things just weren’t working in my own home.

So while I was out on “the lecture circuit,” my wife was back home with our kids going through sheer craziness each and every day.

Bottom line is I knew I had to fix it. And I did.

Now, I don’t have the space here to spell out the ENTIRE thing for you step by step, but what I do want to do is to share with you here some quick pieces of advice that helped my wife and I “cure” our kids of 37 specific behavior problems that were driving us nuts.

And then in a second I’ll let you know the full story.

Okay, so let’s get started…

1. The source of 90% of your child’s bad behavior is…

Lack of a true system of discipline. What does that mean? Well, the reason most kids misbehave, and then CONTINUE TO MISBEHAVE even after you’ve corrected or disciplined them, is because your rules aren’t clear enough, or because the consequences of breaking those rules isn’t clear enough TO THEM.

Now, I know you’re probably saying, “But, Larry, they know they’re not supposed to do X, Y, and Z but they STILL DO IT. Even after I’ve told them to stop.”

You may think you’ve spelled out the rules, but if your kids continue to repeat the same bad behaviors over and over and over again, then the rules and consequences aren’t clear to them – and that’s what’s important.

More on this in a second.

2. Whose fault is it when children disobey?

Guess what? It’s not their fault.

But…

It’s not your fault either.

I know that sounds silly. I mean, it has to be someone’s fault, doesn’t it?

Actually no, and this goes back to the point I made above.

Discipline problems and bad behavior start when the discipline SYSTEM in your home breaks down.

So let me ask you this…

What IS the system of discipline in your home? Or…do you even have a system of discipline? I mean something that’s written down and spelled out in advance so EVERYONE knows what the rules are AND the consequences of breaking those rules?

If you’re having problems with your child’s behavior, my bet is you don’t.

The good news is that you can fix this in the blink of an eye. Again, more on this in a second.

3. Is it possible to discipline your child without destroying their self esteem?

YES!

But unfortunately, so many methods out there don’t do this. In fact, a lot of the advice you hear is going to do the exact opposite. And what you definitely DO NOT want is a system of discipline that chips away at your child’s self-esteem.

Why? Because then you’re just trading one problem for another.

You know what happens to kids who have low self-esteem, right? They grow up having even lower self-esteem, getting involved in drugs, doing poorly in school, and having heartbreakingly dysfunctional relationships even as adults.

So you don’t want a short term “fix” that’s going to cause even bigger problems for you down the road.

So let’s talk about the only solution that makes sense…

The system I developed out of necessity to use with my own kids, the very same system that solved 37 specific behavior problems that were driving my wife and I nuts, has proven so effective that it’s been featured on NPR, PBS and in People and Parent’s Magazine.

The first thing you need to do to get this working in your home NOW, and to finally solve your child’s behavior problems in 2 hours or less, is to go watch this short video and read the free special report I’ve put together for you. Click here now [http://www.smartdisciplinesystem.com/childbehaviorproblems/solvingchildbehaviorproblemsnow.html] to do that.

I’ve spent my entire professional career working with kids and families to develop this “Smart Discipline System” and now I want you to get the same incredible results that tens of thousands of other parents like you have gotten.

So, please, you owe it to yourself to go watch this video on child behavior problems [http://www.smartdisciplinesystem.com/childbehaviorproblems/solvingchildbehaviorproblemsnow.html], read the free special report, and get this fixed in your home now.

Thanks for reading, and let me know how you do!

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/4300566

See Also Parenting Articles by Dr. Randy Cale at www.TerrificParenting.com

A 1 minute and 37 seconds video clip about How to Help Kids with Short Attention Spans.

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See Also Parenting Articles by Dr. Randy Cale at www.TerrificParenting.com

By Ali Bierman

It is funny when you stop and notice that psychologists explain away “bad” behaviors as calls for help, attempts to get attention. They may even suggest that refusing to give the child the desired attention is the solution to that problem.

I am talking about a kid who is so desperate for love (in the guise of punishment) he is willing to act in ways he knows are undesirable just to know someone cares enough to stop him. Unfortunately parents stop the behavior because they are embarrassed or feel disempowered by an unruly child. They make it all about themselves and what others think rather than about the needs of the child – their child.

What if they helped their child gain acceptance instead? Does anyone like a child who “breaks the rules”"and behaves in ways that take attention from others? Do “troublemakers” have any friends?

Think a moment. How do your kids get your attention? Do they come to you with questions or do they “act up” when you get on the telephone? How about when you are working on a project that is unrelated to them?

Here is the thing, kids need and deserve love, especially when you least want to give it to them. That statement bears repeating. Kids need and deserve love, especially when you least want to give it to them.

You cannot possibly give a child too much love.

Tell him, “I love you.” rather than guess that he will interpret what you do as loving him. Remember, we each have our own definition of love and yours may be quite different from that of your child. Hug him lots. Remember, people need four hugs a day to survive, eight to get by, and twelve to thrive. Do you want your kid to get by or do you want your kid to thrive?

Countless studies show that actual touching, as in hugging, increases intellectual prowess in children. Want to help your kid in school? Hug him more often-much more often.

I am a retired La Leche League leader (we educate and support women who breastfeed). In La Leche League we have a saying, “You can have spoiled vegetables but you cannot have spoiled kids.” We mean paying attention to kids and loving them as opposed to over-indulging their whims.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/3183985

See Also Parenting Articles by Dr. Randy Cale at www.TerrificParenting.com

A 2 minutes and 25 seconds video clip about Parenting – How To Discipline Your Child Without Yelling Or Spanking.

Enjoy Watching!

See Also Parenting Articles by Dr. Randy Cale at www.TerrificParenting.com