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A Frog in a Pot Will Boil

You may have heard the factoid about boiling a frog (please don’t try this at home)…

…if you drop a frog into boiling water it will immediately jump out of the pot.  But if you put a frog into a pot of water and slowly raise the temperature it will sit there until it’s cooked.

Why does this work?  The consistency of the water temperature slowly rising makes the frog adapt to its situation

The same is true with children. If we set consistent behavioral limits the child will adapt and maintain these rules.  It’s when parents waiver or give in that the rules of the household become blurred and the child begins to exhibit poor behavior – either out of frustration, anger, confusion or a little bit of all three.

Consistency is the Key

Consistency makes it easier for kids to learn how far they can go.  Testing boundaries is a natural part of maturing, but that doesn’t mean you have to give in.

The consistency ”tool’ is critical to any parenting plan.  Setting limits that are followed without drama and repeated battles is the glue that makes good behavior stick. Without consistency your “little frog” will quickly jump out of the proverbial pot and continue to ignore and disregard any further limits.  Once these learned-behaviors take hold they are very difficult to eradicate.

A 5 minutes and 14 seconds video clip about Disability for Kids based on Behavioral Problems.

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See Also Parenting Articles by Dr. Randy Cale at www.TerrificParenting.com

By Laura Ramirez

Kids behavior problems can be aggravating and destroy the sense of peace and happiness in your home. Kids with serious problems need help, not just for themselves, but also for their parents. In a home where there are behavioral issues, there is constant tension. This affects everyone in the home and can slowly destroy a marriage. In this article, you’ll learn how to help your kids and at the same time, help yourself.

What would it be worth to you if you could come home from work and open the door to a peaceful house? You walk inside, your child looks up at you and you smile because you see that he is already doing his homework. Is this a pipe dream? Not at all. You can make this happen by learning a few simple parenting skills. The key to this is learning how behavior modification works.

Behavior modification is a science. It’s all about making measurable changes in behavior. These are changes that you can see. Some of them are immediate. Others take more time. It’s not your fault if no one taught you how to do this. Unless your parents were psychologists, you probably only know a little bit about the subject.

Don’t feel bad if you have to do a little damage control. Let yourself learn what you do not know. Like your kids, you are learning new things every day.

Here are 3 principles that you can apply to kids behavior problems:

1. Be consistent. You hear this all the time. But what does it mean? Hold true to your word. If your child has lost his t.v. privileges because he left dirty dishes in his room, don’t back down. Even when he kisses up to you later and wants to watch his favorite t.v. show, hold your ground. This shows your child that you mean business. That the rules apply to everyone.

2. Don’t comment on your child’s attitude. Attitude is internal. It arises from thoughts and feelings. Children are not mature enough to control their thoughts or disregard their feelings. They just don’t have the sklls. So don’t say things like, “You’d better change your attitude!” This will just make your child angrier and create more attitude because he can’t do what you expect him to. Instead, focus on his actions. Show him how his actions get him into trouble.

3. Kids behavior problems must be tied to real consequences. Parents often rescue their children from consequences. Don’t do this. Clearly define the rules. Agree to them with your spouse. Don’t play “good cop, bad cop” because this will just destroy your marriage. And then your kid will be in control.

If your child has chronic issues, like backtalk, disrespectful behavior, defiance, failing grades or aggression, you need help. Take action now. You don’t need to get a therapist. Instead, do what many parents have done. Get an at-home behavior program that will teach you how to use some simple behavior modification skills. You don’t need a degree in psychology to learn this.

Designed to teach parents strategies that they can use at home, these programs can fix kids behavior problems and get your child back on track. This will mean less stress and tension for everyone, a happier, more peaceful home life and a stronger marriage. It also means that your kids will learn that real change is possible. In fact, it makes change a precedent in your home.

You can deal with kids behavior problems at home. Follow the steps in this article, hold your ground, get on the same page with your spouse and if you need help, get it now.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/3679997

See Also Parenting Articles by Dr. Randy Cale at www.TerrificParenting.com

A 3 minutes and 34 seconds video clip about The Joseph Smith Family, Special Needs Parenting.

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See Also Parenting Articles by Dr. Randy Cale at www.TerrificParenting.com

By Nicole A. Wardell

According to the March of Dimes, 1 in every 33 babies is born with some form of birth defect. That amounts to 120,000 births each year. My daughter was one of those babies. She was born with a congenital heart defect. Being a parent is hard. Being a parent to a child with special needs is like learning astrophysics. The diagnosis, the fear, the hospitalizations, and the surgeries are overwhelming. We are down the road in this journey with our special needs child. I can look back and see how far we’ve come. I can also see a few bumps in the road I wish I had been prepared for. Every person’s journey on this road is unique, but maybe my lessons can benefit someone else who is just starting on this road of special needs parenting.

• I am my child’s strongest advocate. A special needs child has special needs. They require doctors, specialists, surgeries, hospital admissions, and therapy. They may need extra help with learning and education, speaking and social skills. Regardless of what special needs are necessary, no one will be a stronger advocate for your child than you will. Speak up and make sure your lines of communication are open and accessible with those dealing with your child. It is easy to be overwhelmed. I found myself nodding and trusting that they could save my child; however, if you feel that something isn’t right or something different should be done-listen and act. Pat Linkhorn, trainer with the Ohio Coalition for the Education of Children with Disabilities, stresses that “If you are not satisfied with the answer you get, if it leaves you feeling somewhat defensive, or if you feel they really didn’t understand the question, don’t stop asking.” Ask until you are satisfied.

• Life is too short to lose even a second with a special needs child to mourning. We found out three days after birth of our daughter’s heart condition. I cried for days. I walked around numb and fearful and confused. One night, my crying woke my husband. He asked what was wrong. I was shocked! How could he ask what was wrong? I sobbed, “I don’t want her to die.” His answer changed everything. He said, “We don’t know what tomorrow will bring. We have her with us now. Shouldn’t we be happy for the time she is with us?” He was right. What if she were only here a short time and I wasted that time mourning, instead of soaking up every last ounce of joy and love she brought. I had to work through difficult emotions, but I no longer let them consume my every thought. Instead, I focused on every moment I had with her in my life.

• Children with special needs will always live with their limitations and disabilities. My daughter had a difficult open-heart surgery to fix her heart defect when she was a baby. I have relayed that story to her many times. She needs a subsequent follow up surgery to repair her heart. She is ten-years-old and imagine what those stories have done for her confidence in this upcoming surgery. She is fearful of possibly dying and fearful the doctors will not be able to fix the problem–part of her fear is my fault. Thinking ahead to how information will affect future experiences for a special needs child can make a difference in their emotional well being.

• Others don’t understand special needs, and many never will. My daughter looks perfectly healthy. The constant worry and fear we face can’t be fathomed by others. Finding out she has been exposed to strep throat or the flu fills me with frustration. Then I remember others do not know what strep throat, the flu, or second hand smoke could do to her. All I can do is remind them and hope they will respect her limitations. It is important to be understanding and patient with those who do not live in the world of special needs.

• My daughter’s disability does not define who she is. Judy Bonnell, special needs advocate, points out that children with special needs often feel different from their peers. Bonnell points out that “often the focus and emphasis is on the weaknesses of a child with special needs.” This emphasis on weakness and disabilities does not foster a sense of strength and achievement. Instead of focusing on her heart defect with others, I let my daughter forge her own relationships in her own way. I inform those who need to know of her condition, like school teachers, quietly. I never want her heart defect to define her. I want her strengths and abilities to shine. Until she wants to talk about it and share it with others, I don’t force it upon her.

The road to special needs parenting is different for every parent, as unique as the children themselves. This list contains the five lessons I would pass on to any parent just starting their journey with a special needs child. The journey is difficult and the road challenging but the rewards and lessons are worth it.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/4646538

See Also Parenting Articles by Dr. Randy Cale at www.TerrificParenting.com

A 1 minute and 56 seconds video clip about How To Help Your Child Focus And Pay Attention – Janet Lansbury by Kids In The House.

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See Also Parenting Articles by Dr. Randy Cale at www.TerrificParenting.com